& I miss you...a little too much... little too often...& I can't do anything about it. You're gone. You wanted to leave. & I couldn't hold you back. I wanted to. But you can't hold people. You can't put them in a box. You can't make them stay. But I wish you did. But I guess it was time. It was time for you to go. I guess I forgot that you were a star & I was the crowd & we couldn't really share a common ground. I guess we weren't supposed to be what we were. I was the crowd, not the crowd following you & screaming 'I love yous'. I was the face away from that crowd, away from you, watching you from a distance, wondering if you were too tired to smile, wondering if you liked the lights flashing on your face, wondering if you slept well last night. Never saying a thing, just wondering & praying. Praying that you were okay, wherever you are, praying that I stop wondering about you or you start wondering...about me, just a little maybe somedays when you're tired and you want to laugh. I hope you think of our pointless talks & how I'm never out of words. I just hope you think of me. A little.
I don't know what my life brings tomorrow or the day after. But...but I hope someday, even if it is years from now, we cross paths & I hope you decide to stay.
